Non Scale Victories!!!

Over the last few days my scale has been going up and down between 3 and 4 pounds - So I recorded a gain today.  It can be frustrating but there are other things going on than just the silly number on the scale... Non Scale victories can be better than a number defining your journey. Dieting can be like a road trip.  You can simply go from Point A to Point B and when the odometer reaches that magic number of miles between you and your destination you can declare victory.  However, if you pay attention to the scenery along your destination, I can guarantee you'll have a much more rewarding trip.  For instance, my recent victories are:

1. I have consistently recorded daily in my food journal either online or in a notebook (catch-up in one or the other, but consistently journal) since Feb 16, 2011. 42 days. - this being said means that I've also been conscious of the food I eat for 42 straight days. I've been  known the fall of the wagon within hours of starting a diet on n Monday,  so 42 days this time is a nice feeling.

2. I'm noticing my shirts are bigger and hanging on me differently.

3. People have made comments that they notice I'm losing weight.

4.  I have maintained every doctors appointment I have had since 2/16/11 unless it was out of my power and then promptly rescheduled. My next appointment is April 8.

5. I took control of my health and then even more control when I fired my doctor and got a new one.

6.  My arthritis in my knee isn't as painful.

7.   I was eating my lunch today - a turkey and ham sandwich and was to the point of almost gagging as I've ate it, turkey or ham for lunch for over a week, thinking that I've got to make a change and realized that it wasn't the sandwich itself, it was the crust.  I don't like crust. I don't think I had ever slowed my eating down enough to really taste the whole sandwich. May be trivial but I liked finding that out about me.

8.  There is a contest at work like the biggest loser and while I am not in the contest several of my employees are. One was sharing with me today that she weighed 140 pounds and my reaction left a strange look on HER face like I'd hurt her feelings. I immediately felt bad. My reaction was that of shock because I would not have put her over 120 pounds soaking wet. I knew the look on her face was a familiar feeling I'd felt so I opened up to her and told her the truth. Your weight number is where I want to be, where I'll get and you look so small, I was having a hard time seeing Me look like you. I think she understood but the reality of what I will actually look like had so much impact on my mental journey that it was surreal.

Where is your road trip taking you?

I Eated but was Not Defeated

I am really good at staying focused during the week and staying within my calorie limit but when the weekend comes, not so much.... During the week, I plan my meals with structure making sure they include fruits and vegetables and that they are within my calorie budget.  Then,when Saturday morning comes around... here we go let the roller coaster begin.  Hubby is famous for talking about lunch right after breakfast and dinner right after lunch and sometimes it feels like food is the topic non-stop.  I just don't care that much about it.  I just eat.  When I was single, I planned nothing.  ...anyhow... Hubby woke up and declared he was not going to track anything he ate all day... He was a Rebel with a plan,;I guess you could say.... I, on the other hand, knew I was counting; and counted all day.. but when Sunday rolled around... I blew it. The whole day down the drain with no care in the world for staying within my limit.   Not pleased with myself and not going to re-hash it over and over but I need to make a better plan for weekends. Hubby usually does all of the cooking or it's a constant eating out frenzy from drive throughs to Subway runs..so I'm going to start doing the cooking on the weekends. For the next few weekends every meal that comes out of 411 Gurls' kitchen will be "never seen before" - maybe with some experimenting and new meals... we will have some better results...
Take care...

Face Lift Time and some of my favorite places...

I have had a great weekend.  I changed the layout and look of the blog.  I was tired of the old template and wanted something new.  I think I like pink because that sure didn't change... oh well :)
I'm working on a reference page for some of the sites I visit often in this journey..  I often marvel at the size of what the World Wide Web actually is compared to the places I've been... I'm sure the percent I read or come across is minuscule to its' actual size... Please share with me your favorite sites on your journey so we can expand our horizons together.
Not in particular order:

DietFacts.Com for Calorie Counts

Myfitmesspal.com for Calorie Counts, Recipe analyzer and tools

Sparkpeople.com  provides calorie counts, recipe analyzer, tools and especially informative information not to mention the inspiration their members give

Caloriecount.com for calorie counts, recipe analyzer, recipe index and some great toolbars

All right friends, show me what I'm missing....

Don't Judge a Post By The Title...

The scales and I have not spoke since Friday. I wanted to visit with her this morning but I was running late. It's rather ironic that I would turn to her to assess my damage. I don't trust the bitch when I do good. Why would I trust her when I waiver a bit? I need to own my journey. I need to speak up and quit allowing others to help guide my journey. There is not one food that passes a person's lips that taste as good as success does.  At times, I feel like I'm stuck with no voice. No ability to say "No" I won't eat that. Sometimes I feel like I have the winning numbers to a Million Dollar jackpot, when it comes to losing this weight, but feel I don't deserve to win so I sabotage it. I burn the ticket.

Friends, those statements are about value. They're about how much you value yourself to keep going forward in your journey.  Time and time again you read that it doesn't stop when you hit the magic number on the scale. It doesn't stop when you naturally drink tons and tons of water a day. It doesn't stop when you work out 3-5 times a week.  It's all of these things combined and more that create your healthy lifestyle. You can't expect to hit home runs if your feet never touch second and/or third base. You don't have to do it all at once but start out slow. Right now, I'm focusing on taking all of the value I put in food and putting more value in me. I need a clear head to move forward. I must be getting better because my mind says pretty nice things to me lately.  It's also reminding me that I need to put exercise into this journey... rather taunting me right now, however my mind has started to revel on how fast my body will adapt to exercise and become stronger as each day goes by. It's all of those little things I can't do now that exercise will cause me to start doing again. Watching it happen will be the measuring tool. I have just little over a year to reach the goal of going to Memorial Day 2011. That's a mere 365 days. I will not be sitting here posting a year from now at 400 pounds. It's not going to happen. I refuse to let it happen because I do own my journey. Are you owning yours?

I'ts My Party and You Can Lie if You Want To

Hi there! Long time no chat. I realized the other night I broke a habit! I didn't log on here Monday and tell you what a crappy job I had done this weekend. You know why? Because I did not have a crappy weekend. I had a marvelous weekend where everything on this journey was kept in check. I had the i's dotted and my t's crossed. So where have I been?

It's been a busy week. I've been working late and spending the evening with hubby and working on writing my vision statement. Right now, I'm just making the list of reasons that are important to me. In making this list, I noticed that a lot of sentences ended with or contained the word again. AGAIN.
As I wrote out memories of things I can no longer do and wish to do, I stopped and reflected how many times, I would continue to choose food and abandon the things I love to do only to eventually be physically unable to do them. I reflected on how many diets I've policed myself on where I would tell myself or obsess my thoughts with "I can never have a french fry (insert food name here) again." AGAIN.

This time around things are truly different for me. I have not policed myself over specific foods and only monitored my calorie budget for the day. I don't obsess over my water intake and have noticed it becoming just a habit to keep chugging away. I've even had 2 dreams in the last week about little punch glasses filled with ice chips and water and how they were inviting me to drink them. (I know weird... but nonetheless.)
I walked in from that last poker tournament and realized that this is the 2nd tournament (they're held once a month) I've been to on this journey and while I've had detours, more in the beginning than the present, not once did I have an "I'll start again Monday" moment or "Might as well eat the rest of the day".  That's not to say I won't have more detours, they very well could happen but my mind is a different place now and I just have a destination to get to. I can't even feel the detour close to me because I've taken away so much of the value I gave food in the past that it just seems kind of foreign to me. Often times, my diets wouldn't last past lunch time on Monday morning that first day or never start because (insert excuse here).  It's exciting to see my consistency and determination and even more exciting to realize my motivation and determination are stronger today than day one of this journey. 

I weighed myself today because I just couldn't wait until tomorrow morning and I was not happy at all. It showed a 4.4 gain. For a split second the thoughts started creeping in and I shoved them out of my head like the pipe that sucked Augustus Gloop out of The Chocolate River (Say Hi to the Oompa Loompa's for me). "This scale is only a tool" I kept telling myself. "Give yourself one good reason why the scale says that" ... Did you go over? Have you been getting enough fluids in...at that moment I couldn't come up with one good reason. So I bailed. I abandoned that scale and told it "Too bad for You. I have other Celebrations - maybe next time you won't be a Debbie Downer and come to my party; but it's my party and you can lie if you want to!"

My other non-scale victories are:

I wrote in my food journal every day.
I made several smarter choices when put on the spot and don't regret one thing I've put in my mouth for several several days.
I am preferring water over other beverages.
I"m continuing the Mind Body exercises and growing daily from them.
I put a bra on the other day that I used to avoid wearing because it's too tight. Now my girls are happy too :) (Did I just say that?)
I'm smiling more.
Food is Powerless over me.

What are your non-scale victories this week? Take care of you.

Luck Be A Lady Tonight

First and foremost, Thank you all for all your words of inspiration and encouragement from the onset of this blog. I smile with every comment or email.  In just a short time I have made some very special friends that I hold dear to my heart and that is truly awesome. My husband is my number one fan hands down, and I know this week was especially hard for him because I've been doing some real soul searching that has been painful at times for me and painful at times for him to watch me go through. I am stronger because of it and he was right there to hold my hand through it.
I've had a remarkable week that goes beyond staying with in my calorie budget, drinking water, and losing weight.  The soul searching happened without me stuffing my emotions with food. I actually went to a Chinese buffet on Thursday night and stayed within budget and didn't leave feeling stuffed, the poor diet girl who couldn't eat more or anything like that. I stayed in complete control because I'm worth this. I enjoyed my husbands company and didn't worry about the lines of food that our table was close to. I ate what I like, what tasted good and stayed within budget. ... And then Friday came!!! Friday was awesome! Hubby and I planned our evening with take-out and movies. We had a great date night and I stayed within my budget all evening. There were no... celebratory Friday  feasts with food. Today is Saturday, we volunteer once a month and in that there is always a potluck that is involved... no problems here. It isn't about the food it's about people and having a good time. I have no fears about the day that lies ahead of me. There's no mental preparing going on. There's no justifying how to save calories...Food has no priority other than fuel for my body. That is such a good feeling. The even better feeling is I love myself and know it with conviction.

Today, I also play in a Texas Hold Em Tournament and boy are my opponents in trouble! I'm a pretty good player (If I do say so myself) and place top 10  pretty frequently. I've won this same tournament about 7 months ago and I'm placing today. Placed in the Top 5 too many times to count.  I'm going to place high today without even seeing my cards because I'm not going to be side-tracked with food or anything other than I'm here to be a winner.  As long as Lady Luck is on my side, I don't see any reason why I shouldn't walk out of there with First Place.

This brings me back to my collage... After I completed it, I realized there are a lot of things on my collage I don't have to wait to do depending on my weight. I can do most of  them now the only difference is, I can do them more easily as my weight declines. My dreams don't have to wait for the magic number on a scale. I can realize them any time and so can you. Tricia made her first collage too check it out. I've also created a "What's Your Vision" page where you can send me your vision and I'll post it with your site. Take care of you.

Eat This Not That and The Cost of Bagels

So.... I moved my scales in the house because they weren't on a flat enough surface and hubby and I were getting really weird readings. We changed the batteries, changed scales and now I feel like I'm starting over. I weighed in at 412.00 Hubby even showed a big difference in his weight. So I can sit and piss and moan about it -ignore that my clothes are looser, I'm getting around easier, etc etc. I"m not going to. It is what it is. I have no starting weight other than what I had at the doctors in August of 2009 and that's what I'm going by. I am up a pound. I will show a loss next Tuesday and I'll put my little chart thingy back up but I don't think it's right to mislead readers and  I don't believe the numbers either. I'll probably adjust my weight in page too.  It's entirely possible that I've dropped weight that fast as I always show a whoosh at the beginning when I change my eating habits but it is what it is. I'm not going to dwell on it and I'm not gonna say anymore about it. It is what it is.

I walked into my department today to find Panera bagels ... lots of Asiago and Everything bagels greeting me as I walked in. In my bag, I have cut up pineapple, baby watermelon, cantaloupe and strawberries. I could have the bagel and cream cheese but I want the fruit more. I wanted my yogurt more. So I choose to skip the bagel today, it wasn't in my plan and its kind of a personal thing with me ... prove you can skip the bagel because you chose to; not because you can't have it.  Because I can have it, I just have to withdraw the calories and frankly, the cost of bagels have me in an uproar over the cost of fruit these days.  Are you making good choices today? Take care of you.

The Stomach: Not a Garbage Can

Instant message to hubby
Me: OMG this cantaloupe is fantastic.
Hubby: Oh good.
Me: It's like candy melting in my mouth it's perfect ripe.
Hubby: hmmmm it's the cotton candy container.
Me: LOL, no it's definitely the cantaloupe.

I have to admit I had one of those moments where I stopped and thought about how many of those containers came into our house full.  Really, not that many, but seriously, who would really believe that manufactured cotton candy would ever taste as good as cotton candy from a concession stand.  Even from a concession stand, it wouldn't hold a candle to my fresh, refrigerated cantalope.  I was reading the Spark forum today and someone had a quote that said "Don't treat your stomach like a garbage can". It's so true. I am getting so much satisfaction from the healthier meals that even when the co-worker walks in with her Quarter Pounder Value Meal, it makes me gag a little from the smell.

Obviously, today's a good day. I'm focused. I'm eating good foods that are rich in flavor and satisfying. I have a new weight to report but that will be later tonight. I can't believe how keeping it simple, taking one day at a time, making better choices and focusing on small changes can be so rewarding and easy.  Yes, I said easy. (Note to readers: beat this in my head the next time I whine).

I've been making a list of easy to pack cold lunches. I'd love to hear what's in your lunch or breakfast that you bring to school or work, etc. Share with me your favorites in the comments of this post. Take care of you!