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March 30, 2010

Where it all began...

I am not a yo-yo dieter. I don't have stories of losing 100 pounds and then regaining it. Twice. I have lost weight in the past. I successfully lost weight the summer pre-middle school. My secret? I ate a lot of apples, rode my bike every day always 4 miles a day but often 8. I wrote down everything I ate and when my total calories in reached 1000, I was done for the day. That was the same summer that I would day dream from the backseat of my aunt's Cherokee Jeep while waiting for my diet pop, no ice (you got more and it was still cold), that when I could drive I would go to McDonald's and I would order 1 of everything. Visions of Mc Chicken sandwiches danced in my head. I think that was the summer of their debut. Seriously, how bad could a chicken sandwich be? It's chicken! Those thoughts consumed me every single time we waited in that drive-thru. I went back home at the end of summer to return to school. I had a new body but I didn't have a new mind. My mother was so proud of my transformation. She bought me every designer jean label I wanted from Calvin Klein to Jordache. She showed me off to everyone, telling me to "Stand up, turn around. See how much weight she's lost?". Nice. Please remind me and everyone else how FAT I used to be. Thank God she didn't shout those directions when my boobies started to grow.  And in private, I'd stand up, turn around and see how FAT I still was. My mother was a food nazi. Not because we were poor or she was into diet and fitness. I believe it's because she had her own demons. I've spend a lot of years blaming her for my food obsession. I'm 40 years old. I think it's time I accept the fact that I'm to blame for my own obsession and I'm using her as an excuse.
Over to the right, you'll see the blogs I stalk daily. I have read Pasta Queen for years now. I envied her results and her determination. I've watched her become a successful loser. Her life changed. I recently surfed into Zeusmeatball and he inspired me.  I am struggling with the whole gastric bypass surgery option because my cousins just recently did it and look wonderful. And my mom is all "I'll pay your co-pay if you Just Do IT!" Sure, they may joke about having 3 grapes for breakfast but one thing is for sure, they have taken the toll off their bodies. Zeus led me to the Anti-Jared. Wow its this guy full of himself! Pun intended. And he's given me reason to rethink this whole WLS thing. And then there's Sean.  I love his positive attitude and the good choices he makes. He inspires me to make good choices. I can't get enough of either of these 3 guys. I relate to them so much because they're real, the tell it how it is and they cut out the BS.
 I'm joining the journey guys. I weighed in at 411 at my gastric bypass doctor's office on some sunny day in August of 2009. I've put off doing the insurance requrements until just recently. (6 months dr supervised weight monitoring).  I don't know what I weigh today. My scales aren't working right so new ones are on the way as I type. I should know by April 1.  So for now, we'll start with 411 and make adjustments along the way. Besides that, it will really screw with readers why I called myself 411 gurl if I was really 423 or something like that.  Anyhow, I'm not committing to the surgery but I am committing to doing my six months.  At completing the requirements, I'll reaccess my needs. I won't be perfect but I'll be real. Please join me along the way.

411 Gurl


  1. Welcome my friend!

    I want you to know that what I'm doing, what Zeus is doing, what we're all doing---it's not at all beyond you. I struggled my entire life, spent nearly two decades near or above 500. The freedom I'm feeling today...oh gurl, let me tell you...
    get here my friend.

    You CAN do this. You really can. I hope you'll dig deep into my archives and realize the importance of keeping this simple.
    Put your importance level on super high and get ready to eat, move, and lose weight like crazy.

    I'll enjoy dropping by every now and again,

    My best

  2. I love this entry and just wanted to wish you all the best!