I Eated but was Not Defeated

I am really good at staying focused during the week and staying within my calorie limit but when the weekend comes, not so much.... During the week, I plan my meals with structure making sure they include fruits and vegetables and that they are within my calorie budget.  Then,when Saturday morning comes around... here we go let the roller coaster begin.  Hubby is famous for talking about lunch right after breakfast and dinner right after lunch and sometimes it feels like food is the topic non-stop.  I just don't care that much about it.  I just eat.  When I was single, I planned nothing.  ...anyhow... Hubby woke up and declared he was not going to track anything he ate all day... He was a Rebel with a plan,;I guess you could say.... I, on the other hand, knew I was counting; and counted all day.. but when Sunday rolled around... I blew it. The whole day down the drain with no care in the world for staying within my limit.   Not pleased with myself and not going to re-hash it over and over but I need to make a better plan for weekends. Hubby usually does all of the cooking or it's a constant eating out frenzy from drive throughs to Subway runs..so I'm going to start doing the cooking on the weekends. For the next few weekends every meal that comes out of 411 Gurls' kitchen will be "never seen before" - maybe with some experimenting and new meals... we will have some better results...
Take care...

I'm still here...

I'm sorry for my absence as of late, I've been working on securing this new position at work. I have a final interview tomorrow and should know the answer within a few weeks. (hopefully by mid week next week) I survived Memorial Weekend alone (only for part of it) Hubby came home Sunday morning :) I'm glad he had a good time! I'm glad he's home too. I haven't been putting myself first in the food /weight category. I've been sloppy. I'm OK though. I'm not being destructive but I'm not being strict either. Saturday I went out and got all of my hair cut off, I'm sporting a short cut and people are remarking they didn't know it was me. *batting eyelashes* - I bought three new dress shirts for work and 2 new pair of shoes. One pair of Sandals that are the cutest sandals I've ever owned! And a new purse. I love purses. I spent Saturday night dying my new doo and painting my piggies while I had an evening of poker online and girly flicks all to myself!!! Don't tell my husband, but I hung out with this guy all night long.

Don't Judge a Post By The Title...

The scales and I have not spoke since Friday. I wanted to visit with her this morning but I was running late. It's rather ironic that I would turn to her to assess my damage. I don't trust the bitch when I do good. Why would I trust her when I waiver a bit? I need to own my journey. I need to speak up and quit allowing others to help guide my journey. There is not one food that passes a person's lips that taste as good as success does.  At times, I feel like I'm stuck with no voice. No ability to say "No" I won't eat that. Sometimes I feel like I have the winning numbers to a Million Dollar jackpot, when it comes to losing this weight, but feel I don't deserve to win so I sabotage it. I burn the ticket.

Friends, those statements are about value. They're about how much you value yourself to keep going forward in your journey.  Time and time again you read that it doesn't stop when you hit the magic number on the scale. It doesn't stop when you naturally drink tons and tons of water a day. It doesn't stop when you work out 3-5 times a week.  It's all of these things combined and more that create your healthy lifestyle. You can't expect to hit home runs if your feet never touch second and/or third base. You don't have to do it all at once but start out slow. Right now, I'm focusing on taking all of the value I put in food and putting more value in me. I need a clear head to move forward. I must be getting better because my mind says pretty nice things to me lately.  It's also reminding me that I need to put exercise into this journey... rather taunting me right now, however my mind has started to revel on how fast my body will adapt to exercise and become stronger as each day goes by. It's all of those little things I can't do now that exercise will cause me to start doing again. Watching it happen will be the measuring tool. I have just little over a year to reach the goal of going to Memorial Day 2011. That's a mere 365 days. I will not be sitting here posting a year from now at 400 pounds. It's not going to happen. I refuse to let it happen because I do own my journey. Are you owning yours?

Luck Be A Lady Tonight

First and foremost, Thank you all for all your words of inspiration and encouragement from the onset of this blog. I smile with every comment or email.  In just a short time I have made some very special friends that I hold dear to my heart and that is truly awesome. My husband is my number one fan hands down, and I know this week was especially hard for him because I've been doing some real soul searching that has been painful at times for me and painful at times for him to watch me go through. I am stronger because of it and he was right there to hold my hand through it.
I've had a remarkable week that goes beyond staying with in my calorie budget, drinking water, and losing weight.  The soul searching happened without me stuffing my emotions with food. I actually went to a Chinese buffet on Thursday night and stayed within budget and didn't leave feeling stuffed, the poor diet girl who couldn't eat more or anything like that. I stayed in complete control because I'm worth this. I enjoyed my husbands company and didn't worry about the lines of food that our table was close to. I ate what I like, what tasted good and stayed within budget. ... And then Friday came!!! Friday was awesome! Hubby and I planned our evening with take-out and movies. We had a great date night and I stayed within my budget all evening. There were no... celebratory Friday  feasts with food. Today is Saturday, we volunteer once a month and in that there is always a potluck that is involved... no problems here. It isn't about the food it's about people and having a good time. I have no fears about the day that lies ahead of me. There's no mental preparing going on. There's no justifying how to save calories...Food has no priority other than fuel for my body. That is such a good feeling. The even better feeling is I love myself and know it with conviction.

Today, I also play in a Texas Hold Em Tournament and boy are my opponents in trouble! I'm a pretty good player (If I do say so myself) and place top 10  pretty frequently. I've won this same tournament about 7 months ago and I'm placing today. Placed in the Top 5 too many times to count.  I'm going to place high today without even seeing my cards because I'm not going to be side-tracked with food or anything other than I'm here to be a winner.  As long as Lady Luck is on my side, I don't see any reason why I shouldn't walk out of there with First Place.

This brings me back to my collage... After I completed it, I realized there are a lot of things on my collage I don't have to wait to do depending on my weight. I can do most of  them now the only difference is, I can do them more easily as my weight declines. My dreams don't have to wait for the magic number on a scale. I can realize them any time and so can you. Tricia made her first collage too check it out. I've also created a "What's Your Vision" page where you can send me your vision and I'll post it with your site. Take care of you.

The Scale Tell No Lies - Weigh Day!!!

I got my new scales last night and weighed in this morning at 418.6 pounds.  There will not be any complaining about this number. I consider it my accurate starting point in this journey. 
Fridays are weigh days around here from now on. I like Fridays a lot. I will especially like them when I can report losses and hope that it will be another tool in assisting me throughout the weekend wars I have had.


I got my new scales from Old Will Knot Scales.  They have a huge line of bariatric scales at really affordable prices.  The scales I bought measures body fat percentage and body weight. It talks in a very pleasant voice and has a nice platform to stand on.  This is not the first scale I have ever bought from here, in fact I think I have probably bought at least 4 over the last 10-15 years. One set got lost in a move, another set quit working and I lost my paperwork because it had a lifetime warranty and the third set was dead on arrival.  You know what though? I called up the people at Old Will and didn't have one iota of trouble returning those scales and getting a full refund including my shipping charges and they paid for me to ship it back to them.  Of all the online shopping I do, I would have to say Old Will Knot is my favorite place to deal with as far as honesty and the customer service they provide. I ordered these scales on Monday they were on my doorstep yesterday afternoon.  I didn't do express shipping either!!


It's raining cats and dogs here, my coffee is going cold and I have a ton of work to do.  Take care of you today.

Sometimes Staying in Jail is the Better Option

I stay within my calorie budget 99% of the time Monday - Friday 5p.m. and then all hell cuts loose. I get lazy, I don't blog, I have a running calorie calculation in my head. I say "yes" to eating out more than I should KNOWING I won't have good food options and then I come back here and complain about it. Are we seeing a cycle? Somewhere I have gotten the notion that Saturday and Sunday are like "Get out of Jail Free" cards and I'm allowing my ass to linger at Free Parking for as long as I want. Unacceptable. Do you know the luxury tax it will cost me in pounds if I continue to do this? The question is do I want to keep rolling the dice or use another "Get out of Jail free Card" this weekend? I think I'll set behind the bars and roll my dice - take a chance at getting doubles for good behavior.

3 DAYS

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

3 ROLLS !!!

With that being said, I'm giving away my "Get out of Jail Free Cards" if any of you are interested, leave a comment and I'll refer you back to this post as to why you shouldn't take them or use them. 

My Goals this week.

1. 
   
   64 oz of water everyday
2. 
   
   Write down everything I put into my mouth every day.
3. 
   
   Plan weekend meals before the weekend gets here.
4. 
   
   Write 3 posts this week. 1 must be written Saturday or Sunday.

Sausage Veggie Grill or Hobo Dinner

This past Saturday we did have an awesome dinner from the grill. Hubby took 3 beer brats, sliced them into pieces and made 4 little "hobo dinners" for all of us to enjoy. He wrapped the brat slices in heavy tinfoil with an ear of corn, sliced red peppers, zucchinni, yellow summer squash, baby porabellos, and onion.  Then he put a light drizzle of olive oil over it and seasoned it with pepper, garlic and onion powder. He grilled the little pouches for about 45 minutes and it was fabulous. We got the idea from seeing this recipe here. We reduced the calories and fat by reducing the amount of sausage and olive oil to make it more calorie friendly.  My aunt and uncle used to make something similar with burger and veggies when we'd go camping on the campfire. Try it, I'll bet you like it.

Some He Said /She Said moments from today...

411 Gurl: you know what i would really like to do with our birthday money.

Hubby: what

411 Gurl: get a new scale so that i can keep track of this journey. i've lost my gungho without being able to weigh

Hubby: yes

 

411 Gurl: I want to be a butterfly not a caterpillar

 

Hubby: You're always a butterfly to me.

 

 

Ordered and shipped today.

 

Take Care of You.

 

 

Detour Ends

I encountered a bit of a detour on Friday betwwn 5p.m.and 5:30 p.m. Hubby picked me up from work but not before I'd sealed my fate that we would be getting take-out and having our traditional Friday Night Date night at home. I had looked at the nutritional values, sealed my decision and met him about 5:08 in the parking lot. We went and picked up dinner, picked up beverages. and got into our comfy clothes and dove into dinner. WTF. I didn't order one thing I intended to eat for dinner. I had completely went on detour and in the back of my mind was blaming my hubby for my decisions. I saw it like a premonition, I acted on it, and I am at fault. I continued to do the same thing all weekend. I had excuse after excuse for eating junk. It was ridiculous really but a few good lessons learned.
Lesson #1:
After weeks of feeling good, I felt like crap all weekend.- I was sluggish, my tummy hurt all day yesterday and I only wanted to sleep. Little things irritated me and I had absolutely no patience for anything all weekend.
Lesson #2:
Not one damned thing tasted better than the fresh fruits and veggies I've been eating. I spent the entire weekend chasing bad choice after bad choice only to never feel satisfied.
Lesson #3:
No matter how much prodding anyone including hubby does, I ultimately responsible for the food I put into my mouth. (I blamed him again. Did you just see that? Uggh.) He never prodded me once to make bad decisions and choices. I made them all on my own. In fact, he stuck to his calorie budget more times than I did this weekend.
Lesson #4: This isn't a one way street without bumps or turns or road blocks. However, I am in control of how I maneuver me.

I have Thursday through Sunday off to spend with my family this weekend. I promise myself I will stay within my calorie range. I can do this no matter what gets thrown at me. Take care of you.