Hi Friends,
Have you went over to my new blog to check it out? I'm so close to having a surgery date I'd jump on the bed if they'd let me. I've issued a reader challenge for before pics.... stop over.. help the cause :)
htttp://www.untilmycuprunnethover.blogspot.com
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August 2, 2011
July 18, 2011
Remember me? Can I ask a favor?
Hi Friends,
I'm still updating my blog roll over at www.untilmycuprunnethover.blogspot.com and if you previously linked 411 gurl on your site would you please consider switching me out with my new blog?
I'm on Day 7 no smoking!!!
I'm still updating my blog roll over at www.untilmycuprunnethover.blogspot.com and if you previously linked 411 gurl on your site would you please consider switching me out with my new blog?
I'm on Day 7 no smoking!!!
June 24, 2011
If you follow me, this is important that you read...I'm moving on to the real me.
Through several weeks of reflection, I've come to some conclusions about my weight loss journey. I will not be successful hiding. I will not be successful being a facade that you know me to be as the 411 Gurl and I will not be successful thinking of myself as the 411 Gurl. Here is me. This is who I am... and its just the start. Those that read and/or follow me, I need you more than ever. Please don't think that I've done a disservice to you as the only disservice I've done is to myself. Hiding behind the name of 411 Gurl is not what I want or who I want to define myself... Today is the beginning of my transformation. Continue with me with my new post ...
Hi Friend,
My name is Mary and I started my journey at 419 pounds. As I write this I'm less than a few months from having weight loss surgery (WLS). I had considered WLS for over 3 years. Out of fear, I put the procedure off. It was January 2011 that I could no longer function as a normal person. Every step felt like walking with broomsticks shoved through my ankles up to my knees. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and short walks from my backdoor to the car left me short of breath. I had convinced myself that I wouldn't be alive in six months.
I'm having the sleeve done. In a nutshell, the sleeve procedure generates weight loss by restricting the amount of food (and therefore calories) that can be eaten by removing 85% or more of the stomach without bypassing the intestines or causing any gastrointestinal malabsorption. It is a purely restrictive operation. It is currently indicated as an alternative to the Lap-Band® procedure for low weight individuals and as a safe option for higher weight individuals. I can expect to lose at least 50% of my excess body fat within the first year. Additionally, my surgeon will be removing my hunger hormone.
WLS is not the answer to weight loss, it is a tool to aid in the loss of excess body fat. I must still focus on healthy eating and exercise. Most importantly, WLS doesn't fix my way of thinking about food and the way I've been programmed for over 41 years. FACT: a significant amount of weight loss surgery patients will regain their weight 2-5 years post surgery. This is why I must fix my thinking and focus on healthy thinking and eating. There is no surgery that can fix my thinking or my lessons I've learned over the years.
I came from a an alcoholic father and an obese mother that taught me poor eating habits by rewarding me with food, putting rules on food and constant daily reminders of how fat I was. Out of love, I was rewarded with food. Out of pain and guilt of having an alcoholic father, I was soothed with food and out of pure ignorance of healthy eating, I learned that meat and potatoes were the beginning of every meal... I don't blame her as she knew no better, and I'm working through the anger and emptiness a young girl is left with when a father is an alcoholic. I was never taught the proper tools for coping with emotions other than food and I'm eager to learn the new tools to make my new lease on life a success.
Please don't mistake this for the blame game. I am morbidly obese for several reasons. Through therapy, I've learned that I'm fat because I have the fat gene... I come from an obese family. I learned unhealthy eating habits from an early age and was not surrounded by people who knew how to eat healthy. I never learned coping skills other than to stuff feelings with food. Most importantly, I've learned that my cup has been spilled completely empty. Without a full cup I am nothing... Read my blog to learn what I mean by an empty cup. I promise as you join me you'll want to fill your cup as eagerly as I want to fill mine. Join me on my journey. Nothing would please me more than to bring you with me and help you find your answer to beating the monster we call FAT.
I will no longer be posting here. Please follow and join me here at Until My Cup Runneth Over... I look forward to your visits and your comments.
Hi Friend,
My name is Mary and I started my journey at 419 pounds. As I write this I'm less than a few months from having weight loss surgery (WLS). I had considered WLS for over 3 years. Out of fear, I put the procedure off. It was January 2011 that I could no longer function as a normal person. Every step felt like walking with broomsticks shoved through my ankles up to my knees. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and short walks from my backdoor to the car left me short of breath. I had convinced myself that I wouldn't be alive in six months.
I'm having the sleeve done. In a nutshell, the sleeve procedure generates weight loss by restricting the amount of food (and therefore calories) that can be eaten by removing 85% or more of the stomach without bypassing the intestines or causing any gastrointestinal malabsorption. It is a purely restrictive operation. It is currently indicated as an alternative to the Lap-Band® procedure for low weight individuals and as a safe option for higher weight individuals. I can expect to lose at least 50% of my excess body fat within the first year. Additionally, my surgeon will be removing my hunger hormone.
WLS is not the answer to weight loss, it is a tool to aid in the loss of excess body fat. I must still focus on healthy eating and exercise. Most importantly, WLS doesn't fix my way of thinking about food and the way I've been programmed for over 41 years. FACT: a significant amount of weight loss surgery patients will regain their weight 2-5 years post surgery. This is why I must fix my thinking and focus on healthy thinking and eating. There is no surgery that can fix my thinking or my lessons I've learned over the years.
I came from a an alcoholic father and an obese mother that taught me poor eating habits by rewarding me with food, putting rules on food and constant daily reminders of how fat I was. Out of love, I was rewarded with food. Out of pain and guilt of having an alcoholic father, I was soothed with food and out of pure ignorance of healthy eating, I learned that meat and potatoes were the beginning of every meal... I don't blame her as she knew no better, and I'm working through the anger and emptiness a young girl is left with when a father is an alcoholic. I was never taught the proper tools for coping with emotions other than food and I'm eager to learn the new tools to make my new lease on life a success.
Please don't mistake this for the blame game. I am morbidly obese for several reasons. Through therapy, I've learned that I'm fat because I have the fat gene... I come from an obese family. I learned unhealthy eating habits from an early age and was not surrounded by people who knew how to eat healthy. I never learned coping skills other than to stuff feelings with food. Most importantly, I've learned that my cup has been spilled completely empty. Without a full cup I am nothing... Read my blog to learn what I mean by an empty cup. I promise as you join me you'll want to fill your cup as eagerly as I want to fill mine. Join me on my journey. Nothing would please me more than to bring you with me and help you find your answer to beating the monster we call FAT.
I will no longer be posting here. Please follow and join me here at Until My Cup Runneth Over... I look forward to your visits and your comments.
June 3, 2011
TGIF - that's as creative as I can be!
Hey Gang, happy happy Friday. For a four day week it sure felt like seven! Wow... Can't wait for the weekend. My scale is cooperating right in line with the way I'm treating myself. Treating myself as in something little here something little there... I have gotten exactly what I deserve. I can't figure out if I want to use the excuse that I'm so close to surgery it's my last hurrah, or it took almost a month for the surgeon's office to call me back feel sorry for myself eat in May month, or I'm just in a funk and not putting me first. Either way, poor attention to myself leads to poor results. No way around it. If I were to venture the scale would read 385... it was 383 two days ago. Then Ben and Jerry stopped by and brought Everything but the ...
Anyways, lets not talk about what happened let's talk about how we're going to fix it. This is a good place for stop start continue. What am I going to stop doing? What am I going to start doing? and What am I going to continue doing? Do you know what you need to do to start, stop and continue?
Be kind to your neighbors...
Over to the right you'll see a list of blogs I try to read as soon as they're updated. At one point or another, or on a daily, weekly or monthly occasion, these people impacted me in one way or another. I couldn't /wouldn't tell you my favorite if you asked me because each one I hold in a special place in my heart. Their words have provided a door into their lives that they chose to share with me and you. I have to admit I even got my nose a little bent out of shape when one writer wrote about a humiliating experience which catapulted into several great experiences but then their blog had to endure hateful comments from passer-bys and even then some from people I consider in our weight loss community. This saddened me. The one initially affected handled it with much more grace than I ever could have but let me tell you did I want to put my nose right in the middle of it and tell some people off! I decided if I did that, I'd be defeating my purpose which was to remind people to just be kind to each other and treat others how we want to be treated.
In your dreams....
I dream about bloggers. Like I know them. (Maybe someday...) We dine together, we exercise together it's crazy. The first time I dreamt I was out to dinner with Sean having deep fried green beans. The second one, a group of us were at Tony's restaurant and we were doing exercises throughout the restaurant kind of like a Richard Simmons episode with Tony as our leader while other people were dining! And the third one, Jen and I took our dogs to the dog park. I have never had the pleasure of meeting these people, yet their words have impacted me enough to lie in my subconscious. All three equally deserving of title Inspiring. Thank you.
Take care my friends... My follow up appointment with surgeon is on Friday June 10. Hopefully I will know more then.
Anyways, lets not talk about what happened let's talk about how we're going to fix it. This is a good place for stop start continue. What am I going to stop doing? What am I going to start doing? and What am I going to continue doing? Do you know what you need to do to start, stop and continue?
Be kind to your neighbors...
Over to the right you'll see a list of blogs I try to read as soon as they're updated. At one point or another, or on a daily, weekly or monthly occasion, these people impacted me in one way or another. I couldn't /wouldn't tell you my favorite if you asked me because each one I hold in a special place in my heart. Their words have provided a door into their lives that they chose to share with me and you. I have to admit I even got my nose a little bent out of shape when one writer wrote about a humiliating experience which catapulted into several great experiences but then their blog had to endure hateful comments from passer-bys and even then some from people I consider in our weight loss community. This saddened me. The one initially affected handled it with much more grace than I ever could have but let me tell you did I want to put my nose right in the middle of it and tell some people off! I decided if I did that, I'd be defeating my purpose which was to remind people to just be kind to each other and treat others how we want to be treated.
In your dreams....
I dream about bloggers. Like I know them. (Maybe someday...) We dine together, we exercise together it's crazy. The first time I dreamt I was out to dinner with Sean having deep fried green beans. The second one, a group of us were at Tony's restaurant and we were doing exercises throughout the restaurant kind of like a Richard Simmons episode with Tony as our leader while other people were dining! And the third one, Jen and I took our dogs to the dog park. I have never had the pleasure of meeting these people, yet their words have impacted me enough to lie in my subconscious. All three equally deserving of title Inspiring. Thank you.
Take care my friends... My follow up appointment with surgeon is on Friday June 10. Hopefully I will know more then.
May 13, 2011
What's for Lunch Friday...
I just had a yummy lunch. 1/2 of Pink Lady Apple, a small banana, 2 celery sticks, and a few braided wheat pretzels with some peanut butter. Fun to eat and filling. Glad to see Blogger is back up and running. Glad the weekend is almost here too!!! What was in your lunch?
May 11, 2011
A Podiatrist, A Therapist and a Broken Laptop Walk Into A Bar...
It has been forever since I've been able to sit down and post. Between work and the laptop at home taking a nose-dive... but all is well and good. The pretty new laptop is smiling at her new home. More importantly, what about me? LOL :) I've had a lot going on and need to catch my friends up!
First, the scale read 379.8 today. I like it when that number keeps going down down down but more on this later.
Second, I have had two appointments with my podiatrist. I was diagnosed with Acute Achilles Tendinitis in both feet/heels. That explains the broomsticks feeling I was experiencing. We're treating it with inserts in my shoes and stretching exercises. After the last few weeks, I am seeing improvement.
The dietitian... I had to cancel this appointment because my insurance has changed recently and I actually need to consult with the bariatric surgeons office before I move forward. There is a possibility that my insurance now covers the sleeve and a possibility that due to my BMI, the 6 months may not be a requirement.
The Therapist. Wow. I haven't had any formal counseling in the last 15 or so years and forgot what it was like. The very first thing I noticed was how relaxing the atmosphere was designed. Dainty tea settings, the wicker furniture and fountains... This really put me at ease waiting for her to call me in.
When she called me in, I immediately noticed her office was much the same way only even more welcoming than the waiting area. I giggled when I saw the bag of chocolate covered raisins next to her chair. I am not sure why but I found it amusing that they were in the room where we were about to discuss my weight loss surgery. Being the analytical Annie that I am, I kept wondering why they were there. I almost made a game out of it when she stepped out of the office to call my surgeon. These are the reasons I came up with:
1. "I'll keep these chocolate raisins here and see how many patients ask for some." I wouldn't even think of asking for some and if she offers... absolutely not.
2. On my white legal pad, I will tick how many times the patient looked at the bag of chocolate covered raisins. Of course, I made a mental note not to look at them.
3. Maybe she left the room to actually see if I would take them. OMG. actually steal them? Yea I haven't done that since I stole a Reese Peanut Butter cup from a car at a family Christmas celebration. ... This is where I quit obsessing over the bag of raisins sitting next to her.
I didn't see her the full hour due to the changes in my insurance but I did get a lot from the time I did spend with her. First, she demanded that I immediately stop blaming myself and others for the reason I'm fat. She was very matter-of-fact about it. It's called genetics. When I see someone of your size - there is always a genetic factor going on. The truth is you can lose weight on your own but you'll always struggle just because of that genetic reason. WLS is a physical tool to help you get past that. And that is how she wrecked my plans to post about how I remember at my high school graduation I weighed 208 pounds but have to look back in my records to know what my GPA was. The whole I let the number on the scale define my self-worth, success, failures, etc etc etc. Some of you know what I'm talking about... Anyway, that post is still coming but with a different twist. Do I believe her entirely? To a degree. I believe that WLS is a tool and when used properly can give you results in weight reduction. Do I think there are not mental barriers in being successful. Of course not. Do I create most of them on my own. I believe I do. I also believe that the relationship I have with food was passed on generation by generation. in my family. My mother would harp and harp on my to lose weight but never once took the time to teach me how. No one ever said "drink your milk to me because no one in my house liked it either. Eating healthful was defined if you ate a school salad drenched in Ranch Dressing or the pizza that was being served. (10-1 the pizza had less calorie and fat content) Is that blame? Ok. But it's true. Am I or someone responsible every single time I'm hungry or abuse food? Absolutely not. I refuse to believe that physical and mental don't go hand in hand. Fat Genes? Sure. Mind Games? Absolutely. This is her point though. Stop the blame and accept your situation. Quit analyzing why and use the tools to change. There are so many times I've posted an "aha moment" on here only to have it screw with my mind so much bringing up memories that were painful and sending me straight to the fridge. That's my mind allowing me to act on those feelings. You'll see it all over the blog world ... someone on top of the world going straight for the bullseye and *blip* gone. Fortunately some return with an I fell off the wagon post.... quit blaming you, your past, etc. Live today. Work today. Learn today. But most of all Love yourself today for who you are. Take Care.
First, the scale read 379.8 today. I like it when that number keeps going down down down but more on this later.
Second, I have had two appointments with my podiatrist. I was diagnosed with Acute Achilles Tendinitis in both feet/heels. That explains the broomsticks feeling I was experiencing. We're treating it with inserts in my shoes and stretching exercises. After the last few weeks, I am seeing improvement.
The dietitian... I had to cancel this appointment because my insurance has changed recently and I actually need to consult with the bariatric surgeons office before I move forward. There is a possibility that my insurance now covers the sleeve and a possibility that due to my BMI, the 6 months may not be a requirement.
The Therapist. Wow. I haven't had any formal counseling in the last 15 or so years and forgot what it was like. The very first thing I noticed was how relaxing the atmosphere was designed. Dainty tea settings, the wicker furniture and fountains... This really put me at ease waiting for her to call me in.
When she called me in, I immediately noticed her office was much the same way only even more welcoming than the waiting area. I giggled when I saw the bag of chocolate covered raisins next to her chair. I am not sure why but I found it amusing that they were in the room where we were about to discuss my weight loss surgery. Being the analytical Annie that I am, I kept wondering why they were there. I almost made a game out of it when she stepped out of the office to call my surgeon. These are the reasons I came up with:
1. "I'll keep these chocolate raisins here and see how many patients ask for some." I wouldn't even think of asking for some and if she offers... absolutely not.
2. On my white legal pad, I will tick how many times the patient looked at the bag of chocolate covered raisins. Of course, I made a mental note not to look at them.
3. Maybe she left the room to actually see if I would take them. OMG. actually steal them? Yea I haven't done that since I stole a Reese Peanut Butter cup from a car at a family Christmas celebration. ... This is where I quit obsessing over the bag of raisins sitting next to her.
I didn't see her the full hour due to the changes in my insurance but I did get a lot from the time I did spend with her. First, she demanded that I immediately stop blaming myself and others for the reason I'm fat. She was very matter-of-fact about it. It's called genetics. When I see someone of your size - there is always a genetic factor going on. The truth is you can lose weight on your own but you'll always struggle just because of that genetic reason. WLS is a physical tool to help you get past that. And that is how she wrecked my plans to post about how I remember at my high school graduation I weighed 208 pounds but have to look back in my records to know what my GPA was. The whole I let the number on the scale define my self-worth, success, failures, etc etc etc. Some of you know what I'm talking about... Anyway, that post is still coming but with a different twist. Do I believe her entirely? To a degree. I believe that WLS is a tool and when used properly can give you results in weight reduction. Do I think there are not mental barriers in being successful. Of course not. Do I create most of them on my own. I believe I do. I also believe that the relationship I have with food was passed on generation by generation. in my family. My mother would harp and harp on my to lose weight but never once took the time to teach me how. No one ever said "drink your milk to me because no one in my house liked it either. Eating healthful was defined if you ate a school salad drenched in Ranch Dressing or the pizza that was being served. (10-1 the pizza had less calorie and fat content) Is that blame? Ok. But it's true. Am I or someone responsible every single time I'm hungry or abuse food? Absolutely not. I refuse to believe that physical and mental don't go hand in hand. Fat Genes? Sure. Mind Games? Absolutely. This is her point though. Stop the blame and accept your situation. Quit analyzing why and use the tools to change. There are so many times I've posted an "aha moment" on here only to have it screw with my mind so much bringing up memories that were painful and sending me straight to the fridge. That's my mind allowing me to act on those feelings. You'll see it all over the blog world ... someone on top of the world going straight for the bullseye and *blip* gone. Fortunately some return with an I fell off the wagon post.... quit blaming you, your past, etc. Live today. Work today. Learn today. But most of all Love yourself today for who you are. Take Care.
April 18, 2011
And the Winner is...
Monique from Washington has replied to her winning notification email and will be receiving her Fit & Fresh Lunch on the Go. Way to go Monique!!!!
I plan to do more of these in the near future! Thanks for reading and I'll most likely be posting tomorrow after my appointment with my podiatrist. Take Care.
I plan to do more of these in the near future! Thanks for reading and I'll most likely be posting tomorrow after my appointment with my podiatrist. Take Care.
April 17, 2011
Check your Email ...
The winner of the Fresh N Fit Lunch on the Go has been notified!!!
It's a lucky weekend! I placed 3rd in a Charity Hold Em Tourney!!!
It's a lucky weekend! I placed 3rd in a Charity Hold Em Tourney!!!
April 14, 2011
The Time is Getting Closer
It's really happening and I can feel myself sinking into wanting to hide from it. Words my new Dr said to me rewind and repeat in my head constantly. ... we have to get to why you eat based on your emotions...we have to make sure your heads in the right place... in which I quickly responded. "No, wait. I know you haven't known me that long but my heads changing!" "The last doctor, the one who upset me, .. the old me would have left and not had the labs done, I would have went home and thrown the idea of having surgery out the window and would have convinced herself she could do this on her own, TOMORROW, and then ate whatever and how much ever she wanted the rest of the night. Instead, she went home after having her labs and called and made an appointment with you" He isn't stopping me." She smiled. "And... I've written everything down and even when I had a bad day... I was accountable. I had a lot more good days than bad and I can't remember the last time I have kept a food journal this long. I might have been 14 or 15. " I even admitted to her my whole food issue with Peanut Butter eggs and acknowledged "secrets"
I've spent this week making my appointments necessary to keep moving forward in my WLS journey. I have an appointment with a dietitian, my therapist and now my podiatrist. The new Dr. (Let's call her Dr K) wants to help me with my feet. I literally feel like broomsticks are shoved up my heels through my legs and its so painful to walk ... I can't wait to have some relief.
And as the checklist becomes smaller, my mind becomes busier. It's not about the risk, the chance I might die, it's the mind being fully ready... it's the I can't seem to get 2 good days in without going over on my calories. If I can't do it now - What happens then? Being thin is the one thing I've always said I wanted but I am by far my own biggest battle. My fat has protected me from a lot of things for so many years, I don't even know what I'm hiding from anymore. Do I not want to be noticed? Seriously, who am i kidding. People notice a 400 pound woman when she walks in a room. I love attention. I love to be the star in the room. Am I masking the pain from my childhood? Feeding the broken heart because food loved me back? food filled me and drowned out my emotions. food comforted me. Even the thought process mirrors the reason I'm backtracking... wanting to hide...stay buried in the past and not have to face the now. The old me knew what the past was -the old me knew how much the past could hurt, love, or make me feel any emotion. I controlled the past, the feel... no one could hurt Not unless I let them in. I have no idea how the present feels because I've not allowed myself to live in it. Not completely.
I used to think that surgery was the last straw... the end to the game of diets. the fix all, the miracle pill, the cop out... that "i wont do it because I'm strong enough to do this myself. or If i have to change the way i eat after surgery why not just do it now and be done with it." but now I don't look it at all like that and I don't think I ever did. Having the surgery will open a new door for me that I've never walked through. I won't be able to stuff my emotions or myself with food because the result of the surgery simply wont let me. Food is my coping mechanism for so many things and surgery will take away its purpose. Surgery makes me have to stand on my own two feet and face reality every minute of every day. and the thought is overwhelming...
I've spent this week making my appointments necessary to keep moving forward in my WLS journey. I have an appointment with a dietitian, my therapist and now my podiatrist. The new Dr. (Let's call her Dr K) wants to help me with my feet. I literally feel like broomsticks are shoved up my heels through my legs and its so painful to walk ... I can't wait to have some relief.
And as the checklist becomes smaller, my mind becomes busier. It's not about the risk, the chance I might die, it's the mind being fully ready... it's the I can't seem to get 2 good days in without going over on my calories. If I can't do it now - What happens then? Being thin is the one thing I've always said I wanted but I am by far my own biggest battle. My fat has protected me from a lot of things for so many years, I don't even know what I'm hiding from anymore. Do I not want to be noticed? Seriously, who am i kidding. People notice a 400 pound woman when she walks in a room. I love attention. I love to be the star in the room. Am I masking the pain from my childhood? Feeding the broken heart because food loved me back? food filled me and drowned out my emotions. food comforted me. Even the thought process mirrors the reason I'm backtracking... wanting to hide...stay buried in the past and not have to face the now. The old me knew what the past was -the old me knew how much the past could hurt, love, or make me feel any emotion. I controlled the past, the feel... no one could hurt Not unless I let them in. I have no idea how the present feels because I've not allowed myself to live in it. Not completely.
I used to think that surgery was the last straw... the end to the game of diets. the fix all, the miracle pill, the cop out... that "i wont do it because I'm strong enough to do this myself. or If i have to change the way i eat after surgery why not just do it now and be done with it." but now I don't look it at all like that and I don't think I ever did. Having the surgery will open a new door for me that I've never walked through. I won't be able to stuff my emotions or myself with food because the result of the surgery simply wont let me. Food is my coping mechanism for so many things and surgery will take away its purpose. Surgery makes me have to stand on my own two feet and face reality every minute of every day. and the thought is overwhelming...
And Lord if each mountain is only a test
Do you mind if I stop for a moment and rest
And Lord let me look at the blue in the sky
And if I'm your child wipe these tears from my eyes
And if there's still another mountain...
-If There's Still Another Mountain Marty Robbins.
April 10, 2011
Doctor Check In
There are only a few more days left before the winner is announced for the Fit & Fresh Lunchbox. You can sign up here. I don't require any long drawn out qualifications, no following, no commenting or linking. Simply fill out the form and cross your fingers. It really is that simple.
I saw my new doctor Friday and I loved her! I have never had such a great experience with a medical professional in my life. I felt like I had known her my whole life and could tell her anything. This appointment marked my third month in the six month requirement for my insurance company to approve my surgery. I can't believe I am half way there.
I saw my new doctor Friday and I loved her! I have never had such a great experience with a medical professional in my life. I felt like I had known her my whole life and could tell her anything. This appointment marked my third month in the six month requirement for my insurance company to approve my surgery. I can't believe I am half way there.
April 6, 2011
Spring has Sprung - Let's Do a Giveaway!!!
This giveaway has now ended.
I went shopping today for a new lunchbox and had an idea. Instead of buying one, I got two so that I could give one away to the lucky you!
Product Description
Prepare healthy meals to take with you the perfect way to take your own meal with you wherever you go. The generous large compartments are perfect for sides, condiments or storing your coldcuts seperately. Microwave safe. top cover keeps tight seal to ensure that food stays fresh and cool. may also be used as a plate mivrowave safe side dish containers hold dessert, condiments,or keep your sandwich meats away from your bread until your ready to build. ice pack keeps lunch chilled and fresh sandwich vault the main compartment holds a salad as well as a sandwich or last night's leftoversApril 4, 2011
The Weakend
I am in a bit of a struggle. Something is eating me and I can't quite pin point what it is. Or maybe I just got lazy and thought I could sneak a calorie 1 or 100 in here and there. You can't.
One thing I noticed though; I don't like to admit failure and I quit posting; at least until I have something good to say Nothing is more annoying than a weight loss blog that is always - "look at me! Look how easy this is". Frankly, weight loss is not frigging easy and anybody that tells you differently is full of crapola. I have been allowing myself to cave to my cravings regardless of where my calories are for the day - I'm still logging them but OMG this has to stop. I weighed in at 395.6 today.
Last week a co-worker stopped by my office to tell me she was at exactly a 100 pound loss from her WLS in November. I am so happy for her!. She threw me into a tailspin though. She was openly talking about how she used to eat 8 Reese's eggs but now only eats 1 and she's satisfied, then she told me how she would eat a whole box of Girl Scout cookies in one sitting but now only eats one row of the cookies (about 6 i think). Other people could hear us talking. She was embarrassing me. The whole time I was thinking please shut up. Please don't talk like I know or can relate to eating 8 Reese's eggs. I don't want these people to know I do these things too. SHUT UP NOW. I could literally feel my body sinking trying to crawl under my desk and at the same time I saw how mentally healthy she is in her journey. Not only has she cut back on her binge foods - she can admit them openly. Fearlessly. I can't even write them on my blog....
Sure, I can say I had way too much chocolate this weekend and you wouldn't know if that meant 3 Hershey kisses or 100. I still can't do it. I can't type it out.
Just reliving that moment with her brought up so much guilt, shame and ridicule in me. Writing this out has taken a long time today because as I write, I reflect on why I have those feelings... I was raised in a house of secrets of having an alcoholic father who was abusive. It was only recently I discovered my own aunt didn't know my father was abusive until I told her in passing about a fight I remembered. I remember how bad I felt for my mother. Realizing she has hid these secrets for so many years and had no one to share with or reach out for help because of shame or fear that she shows any weakness makes me hurt for her. My heart aches that she endured that alone. That's what I'm afraid of. Showing others my weakness. That's why I'm here. To remember I'm not alone.
One thing I noticed though; I don't like to admit failure and I quit posting; at least until I have something good to say Nothing is more annoying than a weight loss blog that is always - "look at me! Look how easy this is". Frankly, weight loss is not frigging easy and anybody that tells you differently is full of crapola. I have been allowing myself to cave to my cravings regardless of where my calories are for the day - I'm still logging them but OMG this has to stop. I weighed in at 395.6 today.
Last week a co-worker stopped by my office to tell me she was at exactly a 100 pound loss from her WLS in November. I am so happy for her!. She threw me into a tailspin though. She was openly talking about how she used to eat 8 Reese's eggs but now only eats 1 and she's satisfied, then she told me how she would eat a whole box of Girl Scout cookies in one sitting but now only eats one row of the cookies (about 6 i think). Other people could hear us talking. She was embarrassing me. The whole time I was thinking please shut up. Please don't talk like I know or can relate to eating 8 Reese's eggs. I don't want these people to know I do these things too. SHUT UP NOW. I could literally feel my body sinking trying to crawl under my desk and at the same time I saw how mentally healthy she is in her journey. Not only has she cut back on her binge foods - she can admit them openly. Fearlessly. I can't even write them on my blog....
Sure, I can say I had way too much chocolate this weekend and you wouldn't know if that meant 3 Hershey kisses or 100. I still can't do it. I can't type it out.
Just reliving that moment with her brought up so much guilt, shame and ridicule in me. Writing this out has taken a long time today because as I write, I reflect on why I have those feelings... I was raised in a house of secrets of having an alcoholic father who was abusive. It was only recently I discovered my own aunt didn't know my father was abusive until I told her in passing about a fight I remembered. I remember how bad I felt for my mother. Realizing she has hid these secrets for so many years and had no one to share with or reach out for help because of shame or fear that she shows any weakness makes me hurt for her. My heart aches that she endured that alone. That's what I'm afraid of. Showing others my weakness. That's why I'm here. To remember I'm not alone.
April 3, 2011
I am no Jack Sh*t.
It's easy to post on your blog when the food you do beat.
It sucks when things aren't going so great and you have to admit
That I did over Eat.
I'm not perfect and I don't expect more from you than me
but this weekend got me and I wish food
would let my mind and body free.
It sucks when things aren't going so great and you have to admit
That I did over Eat.
I'm not perfect and I don't expect more from you than me
but this weekend got me and I wish food
would let my mind and body free.
March 30, 2011
Non Scale Victories!!!
Over the last few days my scale has been going up and down between 3 and 4 pounds - So I recorded a gain today. It can be frustrating but there are other things going on than just the silly number on the scale... Non Scale victories can be better than a number defining your journey. Dieting can be like a road trip. You can simply go from Point A to Point B and when the odometer reaches that magic number of miles between you and your destination you can declare victory. However, if you pay attention to the scenery along your destination, I can guarantee you'll have a much more rewarding trip. For instance, my recent victories are:
1. I have consistently recorded daily in my food journal either online or in a notebook (catch-up in one or the other, but consistently journal) since Feb 16, 2011. 42 days. - this being said means that I've also been conscious of the food I eat for 42 straight days. I've been known the fall of the wagon within hours of starting a diet on n Monday, so 42 days this time is a nice feeling.
2. I'm noticing my shirts are bigger and hanging on me differently.
3. People have made comments that they notice I'm losing weight.
4. I have maintained every doctors appointment I have had since 2/16/11 unless it was out of my power and then promptly rescheduled. My next appointment is April 8.
5. I took control of my health and then even more control when I fired my doctor and got a new one.
6. My arthritis in my knee isn't as painful.
7. I was eating my lunch today - a turkey and ham sandwich and was to the point of almost gagging as I've ate it, turkey or ham for lunch for over a week, thinking that I've got to make a change and realized that it wasn't the sandwich itself, it was the crust. I don't like crust. I don't think I had ever slowed my eating down enough to really taste the whole sandwich. May be trivial but I liked finding that out about me.
8. There is a contest at work like the biggest loser and while I am not in the contest several of my employees are. One was sharing with me today that she weighed 140 pounds and my reaction left a strange look on HER face like I'd hurt her feelings. I immediately felt bad. My reaction was that of shock because I would not have put her over 120 pounds soaking wet. I knew the look on her face was a familiar feeling I'd felt so I opened up to her and told her the truth. Your weight number is where I want to be, where I'll get and you look so small, I was having a hard time seeing Me look like you. I think she understood but the reality of what I will actually look like had so much impact on my mental journey that it was surreal.
Where is your road trip taking you?
1. I have consistently recorded daily in my food journal either online or in a notebook (catch-up in one or the other, but consistently journal) since Feb 16, 2011. 42 days. - this being said means that I've also been conscious of the food I eat for 42 straight days. I've been known the fall of the wagon within hours of starting a diet on n Monday, so 42 days this time is a nice feeling.
2. I'm noticing my shirts are bigger and hanging on me differently.
3. People have made comments that they notice I'm losing weight.
4. I have maintained every doctors appointment I have had since 2/16/11 unless it was out of my power and then promptly rescheduled. My next appointment is April 8.
5. I took control of my health and then even more control when I fired my doctor and got a new one.
6. My arthritis in my knee isn't as painful.
7. I was eating my lunch today - a turkey and ham sandwich and was to the point of almost gagging as I've ate it, turkey or ham for lunch for over a week, thinking that I've got to make a change and realized that it wasn't the sandwich itself, it was the crust. I don't like crust. I don't think I had ever slowed my eating down enough to really taste the whole sandwich. May be trivial but I liked finding that out about me.
8. There is a contest at work like the biggest loser and while I am not in the contest several of my employees are. One was sharing with me today that she weighed 140 pounds and my reaction left a strange look on HER face like I'd hurt her feelings. I immediately felt bad. My reaction was that of shock because I would not have put her over 120 pounds soaking wet. I knew the look on her face was a familiar feeling I'd felt so I opened up to her and told her the truth. Your weight number is where I want to be, where I'll get and you look so small, I was having a hard time seeing Me look like you. I think she understood but the reality of what I will actually look like had so much impact on my mental journey that it was surreal.
Where is your road trip taking you?
ABC's of Me
The ABC's of Me:
Age of first gray hair: 18 - My husband says I have more than what I see. Whatever!
Bed size: Kimg Size
Chore I hate: All of them :)
Dogs: None right now, but we have 2 cats.
Essential start of my day: Getting my butt out of bed.
Favorite color: Pink
Gold or silver: Silver
Height: 5'5"
Instruments Clarinet, Tuba and Piano.
Job title: Supervisor
Kids: Two - boy 10, girl 3
Languages: English
Memory (favorite childhood): Spending the summer with my cousins
Never tried: flying in an airplane
One Do-Over (if I could have just one): I don't think I'd take a do over - it might change who I am and where I am today.
Pet peeve: lying
Quote from a movie: "I'm your Huckleberry" (Tombstone)
Recurring Dream: I'm on a dirt dead end road in a rickety shack house with weeds all grown up around and an old chevy truck pulls up and starts shooting at the house...
Sisters: None no brothers either!
TV Shows: Current Favorite- Survivor, The Amazing Race, American Idol, Raising Hope, America's Got Talent
Unable to stop: Smoking, drinking pop
Vegetable I dislike: cooked carrots
Weirdest food I've eaten: squid or alligator - both deep fried of course.
X-Files: don't think I've watched an entire episode.
Yummy Food I make: Green meat burritos
Zoo animal favorite: The Monkies or Bears
Age of first gray hair: 18 - My husband says I have more than what I see. Whatever!
Bed size: Kimg Size
Chore I hate: All of them :)
Dogs: None right now, but we have 2 cats.
Essential start of my day: Getting my butt out of bed.
Favorite color: Pink
Gold or silver: Silver
Height: 5'5"
Instruments Clarinet, Tuba and Piano.
Job title: Supervisor
Kids: Two - boy 10, girl 3
Languages: English
Memory (favorite childhood): Spending the summer with my cousins
Never tried: flying in an airplane
One Do-Over (if I could have just one): I don't think I'd take a do over - it might change who I am and where I am today.
Pet peeve: lying
Quote from a movie: "I'm your Huckleberry" (Tombstone)
Recurring Dream: I'm on a dirt dead end road in a rickety shack house with weeds all grown up around and an old chevy truck pulls up and starts shooting at the house...
Sisters: None no brothers either!
TV Shows: Current Favorite- Survivor, The Amazing Race, American Idol, Raising Hope, America's Got Talent
Unable to stop: Smoking, drinking pop
Vegetable I dislike: cooked carrots
Weirdest food I've eaten: squid or alligator - both deep fried of course.
X-Files: don't think I've watched an entire episode.
Yummy Food I make: Green meat burritos
Zoo animal favorite: The Monkies or Bears
March 23, 2011
Why I Feel Like An Elephant... It's Not Why You Think!
Dude! Seriously. The guy in the office next to me has been eating Pringles every fricking day for the last 2 weeks. I can be concentrating heavily on work and Pop goes the cap and shake shake shake goes the can... I have super sonic hearing like an Elephant. Did I seriously just admit that I can detect the sound Pringles make without actually seeing them... lesson learned... I've ate far too many Pringles in the past to know that! So ... while my ears are like the Elephant, my body is shrinking day by day like that one animal that shrinks... ummm yeah! that one! ... The scale put me at 387.... looking for that number to say 37X soon... 32 down and counting!!! Take care
March 16, 2011
The Conversation with my Scale this Morning.
Scale: Hello
411 Gurl: Hello
Scale: It's ready.
411 Gurl: Are you sure? Stand still.
Scale:....
Scale: 390.6 pounds.
411 Gurl: Good Scale....
Bring me 389 scale... bring it now!
411 Gurl: Hello
Scale: It's ready.
411 Gurl: Are you sure? Stand still.
Scale:....
Scale: 390.6 pounds.
411 Gurl: Good Scale....
Bring me 389 scale... bring it now!
March 14, 2011
I Eated but was Not Defeated
I am really good at staying focused during the week and staying within my calorie limit but when the weekend comes, not so much.... During the week, I plan my meals with structure making sure they include fruits and vegetables and that they are within my calorie budget. Then,when Saturday morning comes around... here we go let the roller coaster begin. Hubby is famous for talking about lunch right after breakfast and dinner right after lunch and sometimes it feels like food is the topic non-stop. I just don't care that much about it. I just eat. When I was single, I planned nothing. ...anyhow... Hubby woke up and declared he was not going to track anything he ate all day... He was a Rebel with a plan,;I guess you could say.... I, on the other hand, knew I was counting; and counted all day.. but when Sunday rolled around... I blew it. The whole day down the drain with no care in the world for staying within my limit. Not pleased with myself and not going to re-hash it over and over but I need to make a better plan for weekends. Hubby usually does all of the cooking or it's a constant eating out frenzy from drive throughs to Subway runs..so I'm going to start doing the cooking on the weekends. For the next few weekends every meal that comes out of 411 Gurls' kitchen will be "never seen before" - maybe with some experimenting and new meals... we will have some better results...
Take care...
Take care...
March 10, 2011
Quick Check in Weigh in
Busy day today but I saw another loss on the scale this week! I am almost to the 380's!!! I'll get there!
Take care everyone.
Take care everyone.
March 3, 2011
Doctor Doctor Give Me The News!
Anyhow, he agreed to monitor my weight loss stressing two things. 1. I must write everything down every day that I put into my mouth and that before surgery, I had to quit smoking or he would not release me. Check and Check. I'm ready. And then he said, "and you need to start being responsible for your health. If you don't take this seriously, I won''t help you." He ordered and xray for me, wrote a rx for my pain in the knee and ordered a complete blood work to start the process. I went straight over to the lab and did all of the tests. He additionally ordered a doppler test on my legs to test circulation and I scheduled that appointment and went to it! Everyday I wrote down every single thing I put into my mouth even when I was stuck staying in a hotel with limited food choices. I have had many more good days than bad and when averaged, I'm right on target. I was proud and looking forward to go seeing my doctor yesterday. I was anxious because that is how I get when I go see the doctor but I couldn't wait for him to see how well I had done. At this appointment, we were to go over my lab results, the doppler test and my xray and then do a complete physical. He walked into the room and immediately opened up my file...
February 27, 2011
Face Lift Time and some of my favorite places...
I have had a great weekend. I changed the layout and look of the blog. I was tired of the old template and wanted something new. I think I like pink because that sure didn't change... oh well :)
I'm working on a reference page for some of the sites I visit often in this journey.. I often marvel at the size of what the World Wide Web actually is compared to the places I've been... I'm sure the percent I read or come across is minuscule to its' actual size... Please share with me your favorite sites on your journey so we can expand our horizons together.
Not in particular order:
DietFacts.Com for Calorie Counts
Myfitmesspal.com for Calorie Counts, Recipe analyzer and tools
Sparkpeople.com provides calorie counts, recipe analyzer, tools and especially informative information not to mention the inspiration their members give
Caloriecount.com for calorie counts, recipe analyzer, recipe index and some great toolbars
All right friends, show me what I'm missing....
I'm working on a reference page for some of the sites I visit often in this journey.. I often marvel at the size of what the World Wide Web actually is compared to the places I've been... I'm sure the percent I read or come across is minuscule to its' actual size... Please share with me your favorite sites on your journey so we can expand our horizons together.
Not in particular order:
DietFacts.Com for Calorie Counts
Myfitmesspal.com for Calorie Counts, Recipe analyzer and tools
Sparkpeople.com provides calorie counts, recipe analyzer, tools and especially informative information not to mention the inspiration their members give
Caloriecount.com for calorie counts, recipe analyzer, recipe index and some great toolbars
All right friends, show me what I'm missing....
February 24, 2011
The 411 and it starts with a 3 weigh in....
Smiling... barely hit the mark but it's all worth every minute. I didn't even let the ice storm trip me up or slip me up I should say.. hehehe. I go see my doctor on March 2 and he is going to be so pleased - if you only knew how different that is for me to make that statement. Take Care.
February 17, 2011
Hello...
Hi. I don't have a lot to say... I'm not going to go into this long post about being back and invincible. I am me. I got side-tracked. Losing weight is hard but it doesn't have to be. Am I determined? Yes, very determined. I'm back on my way down the scale and I miss writing about it. I seem to abandon my blog when things are rough for me and I'm not having winning results. Typical behavior. I even stop reading other blogs or read without commenting when things are down. For now, I'm not placing any expectations on myself when it comes to this blog. It is simply here for me and for you should you find it helps you, entertains you, or does whatever for you. I'm taking this battle on one day at a time and even down to a second at a time if I have to. Presently, I'm counting calories and being monitored by my primary doctor. I have a habit of becoming obsessed with dieting and then when one slip up happens its not good enough and I quit. This can't be anymore. For now, more good days than bad days, more healthier meals than junk meals and more losses than gains...
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